It seems that despite my natural skepticism, I am something of an optimist. I genuinely believed that I would be able to stomach a hot dog each day for a week, even if I would not normally indulge myself so.
However, I was defeated on day one.
But how hard could that be? It’s only a smoked sausage in a finger roll. How could all that promise, all that work to win my “heart and mind” result in such a cynical disappointment?
The thought of the extended balloon of meat-approximation that is the Frankfurter sausage naturally leads me to the next euphemism that I would like to feature as part of British Sausage Week 2014:
Despite the phrase’s (just like the sausage’s) neutral appearance, we all know that, to the government of the United States at least, “foreign policy” means invade the foreign country in question, steal its resources, kill its people, and (most often) leave said foreign country in anarchy once the United States’ “core interests” have been “secured” (I might write about “core interests” in a separate, sausage-related post).
Here is a partial transcript of President Barack Obama’s (the late great black hope) address to the United Nations General Assembly on 24th September 2013.
“The United States of America is prepared to use all elements of our power, including military force, to secure these core interests in the region. We will confront external aggression against our allies and partners, as we did in the Gulf War. We will ensure the free flow of energy from the region to the world. Although America is steadily reducing our own dependence on imported oil, the world still depends upon the region’s energy supply, and a severe disruption could destabilize the entire global economy.”
This is a threat not even thinly veiled and evident in half the countries in the Middle-East.
My own “policy” deployed today was neither punitive nor paranoid, and the “securing” of one of my “core interests” this lunchtime was to seek solace in the bosom of the familiar surroundings and reliable comfort food of a sausage sandwich at the Rutland Arms in Sheffield, UK.