Buildaburger Conference 22 May 2014 – Why you should vote UKIP (if you tolerate this, your fish and chips will be next)

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First I came for a starter, but I did not have the bhajis because I was not Indian.
Then I came for a main course, but I did not have the pasta because I was not Italian.
Then I came for a dessert, but I did not have the gateau because I was not French.
When the caterers came to clear up, there was nothing left of me.
Martin Niemöller (the original text, much-paraphrased)

I am absolutely disgusted by the invidious “diversity” propaganda that is all around us, even in our food. Here is my lunch from a conference I worked recently. Just look at it! Nothing but cheese and onion quiche with caramelised onions, a selection of cold meats and salami, spicy chickpea salad, pasta salad, green salad, coleslaw and a range of sandwiches on white and wholemeal bread. The caterers even had the nerve to mark some of it “vegetarian”.

Outside the conference hall, the propaganda has leaked into every corner of our lives. Look at the unashamed advertising of other foreign “food”. It’s almost as if it was now part of our own culture.

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So why vote UKIP? I don’t know about you, but I kind of miss that ability to bully with impunity that we enjoyed so much at school, and who better to pick on than foreigners? 

The best thing about bullying foreigners is that, rather like people smaller than you or those wearing spectacles, they are easy to spot. Some of them even insist on dressing differently from us Ice Age Britons, and this makes it even easier to demonise them.

However, the best thing about bullying is stealing other people’s lunch money. Or in this case, their actual lunch.

Okay, enough sarcasm.

People who don’t remember it often have a nostalgic view of the 1970s, but this is mostly characterised by the cherry-picked music and culture that is so often celebrated.

I was there and it was shit. Especially the food.

I’m not blaming the decade, but at that time, a member of my family developed an acute food allergy. It’s very easy to forget, but this was before mandatory food labelling, so they had to actually write to manufacturers to find out what was in food products. In the 70s, you had no idea what kind of artificial colours, preservatives or “filler” was in your food.

Whilst we still have a long way to go, within my lifetime our food culture has completely changed, and the truth is that immigration has enriched our country immeasurably even if we consider nothing more than what we eat. Britain is vastly indebted to people of other cultures for exposing us to all that foreign muck (as we used to call it in the 70s). Even the humble fish and chips is 100% foreign. Potatoes (as well as your Christmas turkey) were imported from the American continent in the 16th Century and frying fish in batter is a Jewish tradition, introduced to Britain in the 19th Century.

Whereas I would not deny that the European Union needs reforming, we do not have to be forced to accept the simplistic choice of in or out. That kind of divisiveness is just veiled nationalism, the same kind of bigotry that laid waste to half of Europe and killed 60 million people, and it must be resisted.

Vote UKIP if you hate people who are different from you, but be careful. One day you might find yourself to be the different one, and then you won’t have a turkey leg to stand on.

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