Buildaburger Conference 3rd July 2013 – The Twenty-Bob Millionaire

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Much as I am a fan of the Marks and Spencer food hall, please remind me never to get a one-pound sushi box again. I have no problem with takeaway sushi and always head for M&S Food whenever possible for convenience travel food.

However, the anticipated luxury of its indulgence was tempered by the frugality of the offering, and crushed by the disappointment of such a meagre snack. It seemed to promise much but delivered nothing, and the inclusion of soy sauce could not ameliorate the lack of wasabi. Also, eating a one-pound sushi snack box on standard-class public transport gives out mixed messages.

It put me in mind of David Cameron’s Big Society, a quick-fix sound-bite of high-sounding and vaguely improving “goodness”. But it’s the kind of non-committal “healthy snack” that can be used as a crutch to satisfy a Tory’s inner moral vacuum just long enough to keep one’s pecker up on the commute back to the family seat before a decent meal of swans’ liver paté and panda’s tongues.

For the aspirational amongst you, I say it’s better to save up for a decent blowout rather than graze on empty promises. Also, if you’re going to eat sushi in public why bother with anything other than the most extravagant presentation, the most expensive ingredients and the least sustainable fish. If you want people to know how sophisticated you are, then be sophisticated. And if you’re going to be aspirational, then don’t travel standard-class and eat cheap food out of a plastic box.

The best things in life are free, but not if you like decent sushi. So, if you are going to be a cheapskate, and you still have a long journey home, you’ll need more sustenance than a few lumps of rice and seaweed. Why not go back to basics and have a pasty before the top one-percent tax it out of your price bracket.

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